UNSW Vice-Chancellor Ian Jacobs has announced that he will grow a mustache and buy a top hat to audition for Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story and make some money to save the cash strapped university.
“We’re facing some tough times ahead, but if we’re going to pull through this we will need to work hard, and that hard work starts from the top,” said Mr. Jacobs as he spent the last of his personal savings on the one top hat from Wish.com that complemented his jawline.
“With all the international students leaving the country, the university has lost 99% of its revenue stream, and we cannot sustain this organization on the 1% we get from those amenities that nobody pays on time for.”
At the time of reporting, Vice-Chancellor Jacobs was seen tearfully leaving the Disney headquarters after discovering that Peter Dutton got the part, and was seen buying a cane to audition for the Monopoly man in the upcoming board game’s live action film adaptation.
The UNSW Times 