Philosophy major Jorge Popadoulous is battling an existential crisis after coming to the realisation that his degree is completely and utterly pointless.
“It all started in the near-empty lecture hall,” Popadoulous told the UNSW Times. “My lecturer was droning on about some Greek ship or whatever, and all I could think was ‘What’s the point of all this? Why am I wasting my time with this?’”
“All I’ve gained from this course so far is a sense of paranoia that we’re all just brains in a jar hallucinating every aspect of our daily lives. But then again, we can’t really prove that’s not the case so who cares?”
Representatives of the Philosophy department have responded to Mr. Popadoulous’ claims, saying that the degree teaches valuable inductive reasoning skills, but Mr Popadoulous is not convinced.
“All I’ve been able to inductively reason so far is that Philosophy sucks balls.”
Although Mr Popadoulous would like to switch to a more useful degree, his below 60 WAM currently prohibits him from doing so.
“Someday I’ll get a good WAM and change to a degree that offers value to society. Like Communications, for example. That’s valuable, right?”
The UNSW Times 